Dear Rachel,
I’m a single mom, and I have a teenage son who lives at home and commutes to college. I feel sure that he’s dating someone (there are lots of late nights and private phone calls), but he’s made no mention of it. I hate to pry, but it’s making me worry that he’s at risk. I’m not sure if I’m more worried about
an unplanned pregnancy or just heartbreak. How do I ask without being a busybody? Concerned Mom
Dear Concerned, Teenage boys are more likely to listen to men, so I suggest that you have him speak to his father or another male role model. You can explain to the man what to ask, and then he can report back to you. Make sure he doesn’t tell your son that you put him up to it, or you might not get the info you are looking for.
Dear Rachel,
My next door neighbors have a great time in bed- and everyone in the
building knows it. These people are so loud, it’s embarrassing. Other than
pounding on the wall and swearing (which I don’t do) what the right way to
ask them to get a room- somewhere else? Sleepless in Culver City
Dear Sleepless,
You can knock on their door and tell them that they’re too loud. You have to be direct and polite at first. If they do not get the hint, then you can tell the building manager (if you have one) or call the police if you have to.
Dear Rachel,
Working in a very small office, I realized that my boss was having a
relationship with one of the other employees. When the boss knew that I
knew, I got the axe. I truly don’t care who sleeps with whom – I’m all in
favor the two-consenting-adults rule, but now I’m unemployed, and it’s a
bummer. People are shocked that I got fired. What do I say ? Out the Door
Dear Out,
You can file a complaint with the HR Department and tell previous co-workers the truth. You did nothing wrong, so you have nothing to hide. You can hire a lawyer if you really want your job back.
Do you have a question for our relationship columnist? Rachel Scheer is a Certified Love and Sexuality Coach. She helps people strengthen their relationships and achieve greater sexual fulfillment. You can read more about her at www.scheerintimacy.com. If you have a question for Rachel. please write, and let us know that you want to see it published in Culver City Crossroads.com. All questions are confidential.
Ms. Scheer, I really think your answer to letter writer #1 missed an important point. This child is a teen, but a teen attending college. In other words, an adult. His romantic relationships are none of his mother’s business
What’s she going to do, somehow prevent the poor guy’s girlfriend or boyfriend from breaking his heart? Stop him from dating in case he might get hurt? Run into the room with condoms to prevent that unplanned pregnancy? Or maybe just meddle inappropriately in his life until she utterly destroys their relationship in her misguided attempt to keep the apron strings as tight as possible?
If she wants to help him with his relationship, a bit of honest conversation about coping with the emotions, practicalities, and responsibilities of relationships in general would do much better than just “getting the scoop” about his current love life. And I do agree with your suggestion that that this would probably work better coming from another man.