(Get some paper and a pen…Don’t worry, I’ll wait….)
Quick, think of one thing, only one thing you don’t like about yourself. Pick either a habit, a part of your bod or thoughts you really wish weren’t there. You actually might find yourself resisting this exercise already, because the idea of thinking about what I don’t like feels “negative” or “I just can’t deal with this” overwhelming or “I can’t think of just one thing” tape that plays in your head.
But never-the-less, pick one thing.
Now close your eyes and breathe deeply. Take three deep breaths and release some of the tension even thinking about the thing you don’t like brought to your body.
Now open your eyes. What did your notice within your body? Was there a sensation in one part? Did you feel your breathe tighten? Did you notice feelings that came up that surprised you or confirmed your beliefs?
I believe that everything we do, every part of us is there for a purpose. A really good purpose. Okay, even my cellulite. I know I’m stretching on this one, but still I believe my cellulite is here for a reason. Everyone who is reading this blog has survived on the planet to be here for one more day. Our thoughts, habits and even our bodies are the results of what we believed we had to do, think or be to survive another day. This seems so counter intuitive because we’re taught to look away, ignore and distain what we don’t like about ourselves. As if loathing those parts makes them go away. It doesn’t.
Now I want you to write at letter of gratitude, at least 4 sentences, to that part of you, you do not like:
Dear Cellulite: Thank you for being there for me because you remind me that I have enough. Enough protection to keep me safe and enough protection to keep me strong. From you cellulite, I’ve had to learn to accept my body as it is and it because of you I’ve given up self-loathing as some sort of deluded habit. You have also taught me to feel compassionate towards all the women in the world and their cellulite without judgement. You are an equalizer since I’ve realized that even women without weight issues also have normal bodies with cellulite. I am part of a greater community!
What if I told that every flaw is actually part of the design of your humanity?
What if I told you that to deny your flaws is to deny your humanness?
What if I told you that there is an intelligence that knows that when we are born with flaws we can learn and grow to be better, more enlightened, more compassionate, more enlivened, more connected to one another as human beings?
Your flaws are indeed part of the design!
When you constantly push away that flaw you don’t like, like someone holding up their arms to blind their eyes from what is there, you push away the flaw and make it bigger than it is, like some amorphous entity that is beyond your ability to tolerate. But, when you sit down and write a letter of gratitude, something about that flaw changes. Some light comes in. Suddenly, understanding takes the place of pushing it away. A softness occurs and your creative brain has the ability to live with the flaw. Over time you can let that belief about the flaw go, or at least change the “shape” of the belief. There can be a deep sense understanding about the gift that flaw has brought into your life. It is the only way to truly understand it with compassion.
If you would like now to open your windows, post on Facebook, write an email or another form of communication, tell your community, shout it from the rooftops:
I no longer hide away from my flaw! It is indeed part of my design! I embrace my being-ness as I embrace your being-ness. I am grateful for the hard parts. Indeed they make me who I am today. They have helped me be on the Earth one more moment. Hooray for my understanding! Hooray for my bravery!
And see if you feel a sense of peace.