The Skinny – Amy Brunell

Walking with Grace —

I apologize that I’ve been so off-the-grid with my writing. I’m sorry I haven’t shared myself lately. I’ve been avoiding writing. Why? I’m not sure. My guess is that I’m avoiding doing some “soul work.” That’s what writing is -soul work. When I avoid things like writing, it’s often an indication that for whatever reason I can’t deal right now with my inner personal work.

My life is not tragic. It’s just challenging. And I find myself tired and I sleep as much as I can between work, being a mom and whatever else. Starting in March, I was sick for an entire month. I’ve never had that happen before. I had allergies that turned into asthma that turned into bronchitis and after three times with antibiotics, I finally got through my illness.

I have also been involved in two vehicle accidents and my dog was attacked by a neighbor dog. This leaves me dealing with three legal issues-also within a single month. Someone asked me if I believed in karma? I laughed. Yes I think there is something to karma, but I really don’t believe that I brought on these unfortunate situations-they just happened one after the other.

Sometimes life is like that. Shit happens. At once. Some people get those same few challenges but sort of spread out. I’m dealing all at once. So what have I decided? I have something to learn. The situations have offered me a gift.

I want to walk through challenges with grace. What is grace? According to Merriam-Webster one definition of grace is: ease and suppleness of movement or bearing. I’m trying to move with ease and suppleness within my bearings. I’m trying to stay connected to my feelings without any situation overwhelming me. I know I have a choice in my response. Knowing that I have a choice, that I don’t have to go into certain less-than-productive states like being numb or getting depressed, gives me a feeling of empowerment. I have the ability to keep facing forward, taking one step in front of the other.

Everyone suffers. Everyone gets knocked down by life. Sometimes we view these situations as overwhelmingly unfair. And they can be. But part of our humanity is our ability to choose how we move forward. Do we go at things alone or do we seek support? Do we retain our perspective or are we open to seeking new perspective? Are we truly open to the often deep learning that can result from any sort of difficulty? Choosing to try and learn something doesn’t take away pain, but it can be a coping strategy when facing our troubles.

So I write. I write and perhaps I take out my date book and schedule writing dates with myself. My editor gives me a deadline and I came through. I try and remember how deeply satisfying it can be to write. How grateful I am that I can express my thoughts through this medium and how I can fall down and start again once more, walking forward with grace.